Boatbunny´s story


Okay, now I'm really upset! My neighbor just called and said that if I don't get rid of the calypso band in the backyard, she's calling the cops. She says she just can't take one more round of "Red, Red, Wine" and if she hears "Hot, Hot, Hot" one more time, she's burning down my house! Obviously, she doesn't cruise. I think we have no option but to sell the house and move into a neighborhood where people appreciate good music!

And, she told me if I keep coming over at 6 am and putting towels on the chairs around her pool, she's going to stuff them in a trash can and burn them. Honestly, all she has to do is put them in the towel bin next to the outdoor bar and somebody will come by to pick them up and wash them. What a nasty woman! (hmm, maybe then again, she does cruise......)

Man, what a day this is turning into! I gotta go pick up my kids, apparently my 5 year old went into the bathroom at daycare, colored her face with black face paint as a pirate, and is running around yelling "pirate night, what a fright!" scaring the other kids half to death (again, non cruisers!) , ran up to the program director and told her to "walk the plank"! Now I have to beg that she doesn't get suspended for unruly behavior!

And the camp where my 8 year old is called right after that to say I had to go get her because apparently some little kid wandered into the pond with a regular Pampers diaper on, and well you know, E coli levels and all.....



Actually, we went down to Cape Cod for the weekend, my inlaws have a home there. Now, I have to warn you, this might be a little lengthy, but let me tell you about my cruise... I mean weekend.

DH, 2 DD's and myself drive down to the Cape, about a 2 hour drive. We're just shy of THE BRIDGE, when my DH gets pulled over. Of course, cop wants license and registration. DH hands over Seapass, cop says "what the h_ll is this?" So DH gives him his birth certificate (hey, passports are not needed yet!). Again, "what the h_ll is this?" Long story short, it took 2 hours and $1500 to bail him out.

So, we finally get to the ship, er I mean house. We wait outside for a while, but the Welcome Aboard picture line doesn't seem to be moving, so we skip it, I mean, they're gonna take a hundred pictures of us over the next few days anyway, we can skip this one.

Saturday morning we head to the beach. The only person who looks like an attendant is sitting on this big white chair (obviously thinks it's HIS beach). I go over and hand him $20 for chairs and tell him where we'll be sitting to bring them over. Get this, he never brings the chairs!! I walk over to him and ask him where the chairs are, he says "lady, I have to watch the beach, go get your own chairs" HOW RUDE! And, let me tell you, the "uniforms" at this resort are UGLY! Red with a white cross on them, now I know why he thinks he's God!

So, I head to the snack bar. Oh, this is a doosy! I order a Mango Tango. They've NEVER heard of it!! Not only that, but they tell me there is no alcohol allowed on the beach! What kind of wacked out place is this??

I head back to the beach, figure I'll go for a swim to cool off. Just as I reach the water, I look out toward the horizon, and there it is.... a cruise ship heading for Martha's Vineyard!! I'm gonna be saved from this place!!

Next part is a little foggy, but my DH must have booked me on a new, and rather exciting excursion. Somehow I was out in the middle of the bay, and this helicopter is hovering over me, some guy jumps in, and then they lower this basket thing. I get to crawl in and then they lift it up into the helicopter! What a rush, and let me tell you, amazing views! Wierd thing is that the excursion then takes you to a hospital, but the doctor on duty is a fellow cruiser, so he calls me a cab and sends me back to the beach and my family.

Sat night we go out to dinner. LOBSTER BABY!! I order dinner, broiled lobster tail, baked potatoe and veggies. Salad for appetizer. We have a few glasses of wine and a few beers. So, then I tell the waiter I'm ready for my second lobster tail. He looks at me rather blankly, then says "oh, okay" and comes back with a whole meal. I told him I'd be happy with just the tail, but thanks for the extra stuff. Then I told him to just go get the third one, and leave off the veggies. Looks at me strange again, (must be a new waiter!) and off he goes. Dinner ends, and he brings over the tab to sign... $300 !! I mean, we had 2 glasses of wine and 3 beers! Seems he's trying to charge me for 3 lobster dinners and my DH's dinners too (filet and lobster tails too). I remind him that meals are included! Long story short, I get bailed out about 2 hours and $1500 later.

We put this behind us. Sunday a.m. we head to the beach again. New attendant, I'll take my chances she's nicer that Mr. God from Saturday. I give her $30 for chairs (maybe a $10 tip will help). She takes the money, but doesn't move off the chair. One of her little friends is sitting next to her, as I walk away, I hear them say something like "that's the crackpot from yesterday who tried to swim to the cruise ship on the Vineyard". Apparently someone had actually tried to swim out to the cruise ship the day before and had to be rescued by the Coast Guard! Poor woman, talk about cruise withdrawal! One more thing, the attendant has the same "uniform" on as Mr. God (but she had a top on), and let me tell you, RED is NOT her color!

We decided to take the kids on a snorkeling excursion, DON"T waste your money on this one folks! Snorkel from the beach, all we saw was a few crabs and a dead fish in between the rocks on the jetty! No coral, no living fish, no stingrays! I'm going to get my money back on this one!

I also had another run in with those rude attendants at the beach, but this time I brought my own chair. And, I put my book and towel on it at 7 am and didn't come back till 10! Oh, what a feeling that was, the empowerment! And when that little kid tried to climb into that chair..... well, let's just say that he had a nice little "sand"wich for lunch!! And, I brought my own Coco Loco's this time too, and when that nasty little attendant in the red bathing suit with the white cross came over (she still hasn't figured out that red is not her color!) and tried to take it away .... let's just say that she enjoyed her "sand"wich along with that little kid! At least on Mustard of the Seas we won't have these ludicrous rules!

We get back to the house to get ready to leave. BIG PROBLEM! Our luggage, that we left out by the door to be packed in the car, is still in the driveway! And it appears that one of the local dogs might have used it for target practice, if you get my drift! Talk about poor service!

So, we loaded up the luggage ourselves and head out. Cross over the bridge, and you guessed it, our friend Mr. Cop from Friday night is sitting in his car looking all tough! But, this time he just shook his head as we drove by and rolled his eyes.

We got home about an hour ago. There was a big trashcan in my driveway, with what appears to be some kind of burned tan material in it, kind of looks like terry cloth. The band is gone, the pretty little colored lantern lights are all ripped up and scattered in the yard. My neighbour has put up a barricade fence with barbed wire on top. We decided we're gonna move... but not until we get back from our next cruise!

Also, did you know the CG actually charges you for rescue if they feel it is a situation you bring on yourself? Gonna have to call RCCL Customer Service to find out how to get reimbursement for this, definitely was not my fault I chased after that cruise ship heading to the Vineyard! (Yes, DH sat me down Monday night to explain the whole helicopter thing was not really an excursion).

Wastin´Away´s story


I guess some back-story is in order… See, I live in a beautiful sleepy town outside of Seattle, Washington. From my home, I lookout at the Puget Sound with a backdrop of the Olympic Mountains.
I try to exercise regularly. I prefer jogged outdoors, but this is not always possible due to the liquid sunshine that Seattle is so famous for. However, this morning, I was able to have my morning jog as the liquid sun quit falling for the time being.
ANYWAYS… I was on my jog this morning and I saw it… it had to be a cruise ship… it was HUGE you understand… it was the ugliest cruise ship I had ever seen – drab grey, but a cruise ship is a cruise ship right? Anyways, it was leaving… being tugged away from the shipyard that is across the Sound from me. Well – you can understand my excitement; I don’t usually have a view of the cruise ship docks from my house so to see what must have been a cruise ship (although an ugly one) was quite a big deal.
So, naturally I decided to check it out. I could barely contain my excitement. And, remembering boatbunny’s story from many pages ago… I figured my morning exercise routine could stand to be expanded by adding swimming. So… I throw caution to the wind and jump in the chilling waters of the Puget Sound to catch the ship…
Well… after swimming and swimming and swimming in what fast became the ARTIC waters of Puget Sound… I finally got near the ship. And you can imagine my glee when a smaller boat greeted me. Expecting to be helped aboard, I held up my arms. Well… imagine my surprise when I wasn’t helped aboard… noooo, instead I found myself looking up at the barrel of a machine gun!
Well… I demanded to see the purser or the loyalty ambassador, but they just cuffed me and started talking non-sense about national security and government property and the like.
I don’t understand what their problem was. I was willing to pay to check out the cruise ship. Being a virgin cruiser, I haven’t ever seen one close up before. I just wanted to see what one looks like. Speaking of what they look like, is it customary for the ship staff to wear white uniforms w/ funny little hats? And do they always carry jets and helicopters on the upper deck?
I thought that was where the pools were. And the deck chairs, and the sports stuff. Well anyway… I was taken to meet the captain – an honour I did not take lightly as I understand it to be a pretty big deal – and he informed me that this was not a cruise ship but an aircraft carrier. (Hrumph!) And that they would let me off w/ a warning this time – but they would have to call my husband and recommended that I see some kind of doctor. I told him that I was feeling quite well and thought it was quite a waste to have such a huge ship and it not be a recreational vessel.
Maybe he needed to see a doctor!!